how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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