She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Randomize
