You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
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