The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
