I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
