Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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