I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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