I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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