I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
