Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
