That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
My bed is full of blood and feathers
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
