hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
Hippo gnu deer
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
