dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize