im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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