too bad you live with your parents still
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Randomize
