I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Even my vagina gasped.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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