Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Randomize
