And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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