then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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