im having a threesome with these popsicles
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
