remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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