I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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