Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
