Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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