In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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