i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Randomize
