What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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