Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
