Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
