Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
