Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
