There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Randomize
