the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
My vagina is very pro this idea
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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