Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
