Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
dude i'm inner monologue high
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
MIDGETS
????
Randomize
