I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
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