her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
you didnt know i had herpes?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
