whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
