her vagine was all disorganized.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
