areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I think my moral compass just broke
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