Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
