4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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