Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
