I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
