Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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