Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
