you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
