I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
