Did you just see the Batmobile???
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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