okay pat passed out under dana's car
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
